Right, let’s clear something up from the get-go: Selective Mutism (SM) is not a child being “difficult” or “just shy”. It’s not rudeness, and it’s definitely not something they’re doing for attention. In fact, it used to be called “elective mutism”, which made it sound like kids were choosing not to speak – like they just woke up one morning and went, “You know what? Not today, Mary.”
Thankfully, we’ve come a long way since then, and now the term “selective mutism” is used to reflect the involuntary nature of it. These kids want to speak – they just can’t, not in certain situations. It’s anxiety-driven and completely out of their control. The silence isn’t a choice. But with the right support, the progress? Oh my word… it can be incredible.
I’ve personally worked with two children with SM, and let me tell you – they’re etched in my heart forever. Each one came with their own set of challenges, both professionally and emotionally. There were tough moments, yes. But oh wow, the joy they brought into my life? Next level.
Let me paint you a picture…
One child started off barely speaking at all, often with their face tucked away, barely making eye contact. Fast forward a little – and they were full-on belting out Mariah Carey in the bathroom (I still smile every time I hear “Hero”), and calling me every single morning with a big smile, ready to chat about what they had for tea the night before. Like… who was this confident little superstar?! The transformation was just magic.
And the second one – same thing. Wouldn’t utter a word to classmates or staff. Not a whisper. Then, one day, I’m walking down the corridor and hear my name being shouted from inside the classroom. Just to say hi. And I could’ve cried right there and then. (Okay, maybe I did a tiny bit.)
Yes, it can be a long journey. Yes, there are days when progress feels snail-paced. But trust me – those leaps and bounds do come. And when they do? It’s not just about the speaking. It’s about watching a child bloom, finding their confidence, their humour, their sass, their voice (literally and figuratively).
So, if your child has selective mutism – or if you suspect they might – know this: you’re not alone. And there is so much hope.
💬 Let’s Chat, Mum to Mum
If this post hit home, drop a comment or send me a message. Whether you’re just starting this journey or knee-deep in the middle of it, I’d love to hear your story. Us SEND mums? We’ve got each other’s backs.
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